Gasoline
by MadamPoptart
Summary: This a squeal to 'You are my sunshine' and 'So cold'
1. Chapter 1

December 12th

 **I've done you wrong, I regret it**

 **I write this song, try to forget it**

 **I feel this emptiness in my chest**

 **It feels surreal, but I'm feeling stressed**

 _Harry laid between Draco's legs, kissing him with an inch of his life when Draco pulled back and looked at Harry with a lazy smile "Time to wake up" he murmured as he brushed the hair out of his face…_

"Harry wake up we will be late!" Ginny sighed "take care of that before my mother gets here" the redhead gestured to the tent in the covers. Harry ran his hands over his face. It was a dream. A dream he wished more than anything to be a reality. He didn't want this.

One Year Earlier

Harry was resting his head on Draco's lap, as the blonds fingers carded through his hair "I need a break from being Harry Potter" Draco bookmarked his book and set it down.

"Oh?"

"It's too much stress and I just want to take a break" Harry murmured and then sighed "It's stupid I know"

"No it's not stupid… why don't you take off work until Christmas and we can hole up at home?" Draco asked "We can even go visit the burrow"

"Am I allowed to do that?" Harry asked, looking up at his lover and Draco snorted

"You're the savior of the wizarding world. I don't think they will mind" Draco responded and Harry grinned then leaned up to kiss him

"You're brilliant"

"Oh trust me I know" Draco stated and then picked his book back up to start reading again.

When Draco's mother fell ill he had packed a bag and promised to be back in a week. Harry told him he'd stay at the burrow. That was the first mistake he made. Ginny had made it her mission to make Harry have fun while Draco was away. They flew their brooms in the fields and played drinking games with Ron.

After the week was up Draco came home as promised and complained about missing him. Harry then remembered he had forgotten to write Draco in those days. He had forgotten because Ginny had him constantly occupied. They spent Christmas Eve with Narcissa and Christmas Day at the Burrow. What Harry didn't mention was Ginny and he got caught under the mistletoe, they kissed.

 **I smell heartbreak on my hands**

 **I feel sick to my stomach as I begin to stand**

 **I see your outline in my bed**

 **In the same spot I watched him rest his head**

Everywhere he went Ginny was and Harry found himself not minding. He didn't intend for them to end up in the sheets after a late night at the pub. When he woke up the next morning with Ginny beside him, he wanted to throw up. He betrayed Draco. What the hell was wrong with him? Ginny was his best mates sister and Draco was perfect. This will not happen again.

 **I wake up the morning after**

 **You call but I don't answer**

 **And I can't look you in the eye,**

 **No matter how hard I try**

 **You deserve forever,**

 **not a boy looking for better**

 **But as long as you're still here,**

 **Imma try to keep you near**

It happens again. Harry wasn't expecting it to. He didn't plan it but he couldn't deny how he felt when he fucked her. It was new and he liked it. The next morning his phone rang and Draco's contact was on the screen. He remembered when he bought a phone for Draco telling him it was faster than owl and much easier. If Draco was calling then he was truly freaked out but Harry couldn't pick up the phone.

Harry wanted to puke and he hated what he had done. He didn't want this. He wanted to settle down with Draco and coming home to face him was the worst.

"Where were you? I was worried you prick!" Draco shouted his eyes filled with worry as Harry opened their front door.

"I know… I'm sorry… I was… I was out with Nev at the pub and I had too much to drink so I passed out on his couch" Harry lied and pulled Draco into a hug to avoid eye contact "I'm so sorry" I can't look him in the eye. He will know what I've done.

"What's up with you?" Draco asked

Harry shrugged "I'm just tired and hung over. Why don't I take you out tomorrow? Let me make up for being such a wanker"

"Alright but you're still a wanker no matter what you do" Draco grinned and kissed him softly "let me get some hangover potion. Go lay down"

 **I need to do something**

 **I fucked up for nothing**

 **Now I gotta just tell someone,**

 **Tell someone what I've done**

Harry ended up telling Hermonie what he did. He had to tell someone. It kept weighing him down and he thought telling her would help but it just made it all more real. It made him see what he did and it made him see how much he fucked up.

"I suggest you call Ginny up and end things with her and then when Draco gets home you tell him" Hermonie stated but he could see the disappointment there. Who knew Harry Potter The Boy Who Cheats.

One Month Earlier

"Ginny I don't want to hurt Draco" Harry started, he had invited her over to explain and settle things. He finally felt some clarity in the past 11 months. He finally felt good. "I'm sorry but this is over between us"

"Just give me one last kiss… please… it was so hard letting you go last time" Ginny begged and Harry complied but then the kiss turned passionate and the next thing he knew Harry was fucking Ginny in his and Draco's bed. Horror filled him when he heard Draco clearing his throat. No. No. No. This can't be happening.

Harry could read Draco like a book. Draco kept that strong mask up but it was his eyes that gave away his emotions. Harry's chest ached as he caught sight of the emotions swimming in his grey eyes. "I think its time I left, don't you?" Draco said numbly and apparented out of the house.

"Wait! Draco! Dammit" Harry shouted and fisted his hands in his hair "fuck fuck fuck fuck"

"Harry" Ginny tried and put a hand on his arm

"Don't fucking touch me! Get out!" Harry shouted at her and she quickly followed his command. Harry scrubbed his face "I fucked up."

Harry sat in their bedroom, hating himself as he had done for Merlin knows how long and when he heard the familiar light footsteps his heart nearly jumped out of his chest "Draco is that you?"

"It seems to be yes" Draco responded coolly as he entered swiftly, using magic to pack his suitcase.

"I-I didn't mean to… I never wanted you to…" Harry tried to explain, going closer to him. "I never meant for you to find out this way"

"I understand why" Draco said softly, Harry could see the shadow of pain reflecting in his grey eyes. The same grey eyes that used to look at him with love and happiness. "I get it really. You don't need to feel guilty"

"I'm sorry" Harry said softly "I'm so sorry"

"What do you want Ginny?" Harry slurred, he was sitting at the kitchen table of Draco and his home or what once was their home. It wasn't really the house that made it his home, Harry realized it was Draco. Draco was his home. His drunken mind made the room spin and that's why when Ginny said it, he thought he'd imagined it .

"I'm pregnant and I demand you marry me"

Six Months After

 **Please bathe me now, wash me clean**

 **Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline**

 **Bathe me now, yeah, wash me clean**

 **Just set my heart on fire, like gasoline**

When the doorbell rang, he sighed and stood from where he was reading his book. Draco's favorite book actually. Whenever he did things Draco liked, he felt closer and well at home. Opening the door to Draco was the best and the worst thing to ever happen to him. "Draco?"

"It seems to be yes" Draco responded like he had done on that day and Harry saw that day flashing before his eyes again.

"Would you like to come in?" Harry asked, hoping to Merlin that Draco would say yes. He needed Draco close again.

"Is the weaselette here?"

"No she left about an hour ago" Harry murmured, his eyes scanning over the loosely hanging clothing and the hallowed cheeks. Harry's chest began to ache when he saw the boney wrist and the dark circles under those grey eyes.

"Then I suppose it wouldn't hurt" Draco murmured and followed Harry into the house.

"You've lost weight" Harry commented softly as he soaked in the sight of Draco. He had more than lost weight, he had lost the life that Harry once saw in those beautiful grey eyes.

"That tends to happen when you starve yourself." Draco commented and then gestured to the seat "May I?"

Harry nodded and the pair sat down. "What do you mean? Are you okay?" Harry asked, his heart crumbled. He couldn't believe he had down this to Draco.

"As if you care. I didn't come here to make you feel guilty" Draco stated before holding a hand up to stop Harry from talking "I…I just… I need to know… Why? I get why you wanted her and not me but why didn't you just leave. I can't figure It out. We were so happy. I thought…I… I thought I made you happy…"

"You did. You did make me happy and I didn't… I fucked up." Harry stood up by this point running his fingers through his hair "I'm not in love with her. Believe me when I say I loved you… I still love you"

"Please don't lie to me" Draco said softly "I can't take that"

"I'm not lying. Draco Ginny and I only had sex three times. You walked in on the third. I didn't mean for it to happen again and I meant to tell you… I'm married to her and I still dream of you. I regret what I did. Everything just happened so fast…" Harry kneeled down in front of Draco, taking his hands "I'm so so sorry. I thought that she was perfect but I realized you were my one and she wasn't but by that time it was too late. Ginny's pregnant and Ron pressured me to marry her but the one I wanted to marry was you"


	2. Love Me Again

**I suggest listening to 'Love Me Again' by John Newman**

June 12th

Harry wrapped an arm around Draco's waist and kissed his neck softly "Morning" Harry murmured into his neck. It had been a year since Draco confronting him and a year since he left Ginny to return to Draco.

"You are aware that my mother is down the hall and you aren't wearing anything but undergarments" Draco stated as he flipped a pancake. It had taken months to even let Harry this close again. They didn't sleep together until everything was settled with Ginny. Draco had various issues with allowing Harry to even touch him in that way but he was getting past it.

"I'm too lazy to walk back up the stairs" Harry murmured which caused a snort from the slyitherin

 **I need to know now, know now**

 **Can you love me again?**

 **I need to know now, know now**

 **Can you love me again?**

One year earlier

Harry pulled back from the hug to look at Draco's tear stricken face. "I'm so so sorry" he murmured and leaned their foreheads together. "Can you love me again?"

Draco pulled himself away from Harry and stood. He needed space from him he needed air this was all too much. All the walls he built in the last few months came crashing around him again. "I don't…I never… dammit potter"

Harry stood as well and moved towards Draco "Please Draco…" Harry didn't know what to say or how to go about this. Harry wanted… no he _needed_ to be with Draco again. He couldn't go without him again.

"If you were forced into this, then how do you get out?" Draco asked, turning away from Potter

"I can do anything, if I have you" Harry responded wrapping his arms around the blonde.

"Stop it. I can't think correctly when you do that" Draco attempted to pull himself out of Harrys embrace but the brunette wouldn't have it. "What do you want?"

"You" Harry murmured into Draco's neck as he tightened his arms around Draco. He missed this so much. It was different holding him now, Malfoy was lean before but now Harry was positive if Draco took off his shirt he could count the ribs. "We can figure it out together"

10 months earlier

 **It's unforgivable,**

 **I stole and burnt your soul**

 **Is that what demons do?**

 **They rule the worst of me**

 **Destroy everything,**

 **They bring down angels like you**

"You're serious about getting back together with him? After all he did to you?!" Blaise exclaimed "Draco what the bloody hell are you thinking?"

"I'm not saying I trust him and I'm not dropping at his feet when he calls" Draco stated "I am keeping my distance but Blaise I need him"

"Draco if you just give it a few more months then you'll be okay I promise" Blaise pleaded and grabbed Draco's shoulders "He burnt your soul and you still…"

"Yes" Draco said softly and Blaise sighed loudly then pulled his former classmate into a hug

"If he hurts you again I'll kill him you understand me?"

 **Know I've done wrong,**

 **Left your heart torn**

 **Is that what devils do?**

 **Took you so low,**

 **Where only fools go**

 **I shook the angel in you**

Draco toed off his shoes and put them away neatly as he entered the house. Harry and him didn't live together but Harry was over almost 24/7.

"Draco?" Harry called and Draco followed the sound

"Who else?" Draco retorted as he entered the living room "Blaise threatened your life again"

"I don't blame him" Harry said quietly while Draco sat by him with a huff "How was the court hearing?"

"Well Ginny and I are officially divorced. It's all over the papers" Harry handed the newspaper he was reading to the blonde

"The only good thing the paper is for is burning" Draco stated as he glared at the front page before throwing it into the fire.

"Want me to make dinner?" Harry asked taking the blondes hand

"Depends on what you make. If you try to make orange chicken again then definitely no" Draco stated the beginning of a smile gracing his lips as Harry rolled his eyes

"Prick….My orange chicken wasn't that bad"

"Whatever you say scarhead"

6 months earlier

 **Now I'm rising from the ground**

 **Rising up to you**

 **Filled with all the strength I've found**

 **There's nothing I can't do!**

Draco lay lazily on the blanket, Harry had taken him out to a lovely lake where they had a picnic and spent the time happily engaged in conversation. "Draco?"

"Hmm?"

"I love you" Harry stated, Draco opened his eyes and looked at Harry

"I love you too"

"I get it if it's too soon for you but… I practically live at the house and every time I leave you its like leaving home" Harry murmured "I don't want to leav-"Draco stopped Harry's rambling with a kiss

"Yes. I want you to move in" Draco murmured softly and Harry grinned widely

4 months earlier

Harry and Draco moved into together a month ago and everything was falling back to how it was. Of course it would never be the same but it was still close enough. Draco was slowly starting to trust Harry again.

 **I told you once I can't do this again, do this again, oh, no**

 **I told you once I can't do this again, do this again, oh, no**

It was three am when Harry stumbled through the door, drunk off his ass. After having a couple pints with Ron and Neville, Harry had told Draco he would be out late to have drinks with the guys but he had said he would be home at midnight.

Draco sat in the living room, his hands in his lap as he stared at the fire "Where were you?"

"The pub with Ron and Nev" Harry slurred and leaned against the doorway, he really was too drunk for this. He had lost track of time and had come home as soon as he realized the time.

"I can't do this again Harry" Draco stated

"Wha?"

"I told you once I can't do this again!" Draco shouted standing up "You cannot put me through this again! I can't handle it! So if you were with someone tell me now"

"No baby listen I was just with the boys and I totally lost track of time" Harry slurred and tried to take Draco's hands but the blonde flinched away

"Remember the last time you 'lost track of time'? Because I do" Draco sneered "You fucked Ginny only to come home and fuck me"

"Draco I really was out with Ron and Nev you can ask them yourself. Please believe me" Harry stepped closer only to stagger and nearly fall "whoa"

"Dammit Potter…. How much did you have to drink?" Draco asked as he guided him to their bedroom

"I'm sorrrry… please don't leave" Harry slurred as Draco laid Harry on the bed

"I'm not going to leave you twat" Draco sighed as he stripped Harry of everything but his boxers "You're fucking idiotic and we aren't done talking about this"

Harry groaned as he woke up, his head was killing him and he wanted nothing more than to curl up and die.

"Morning Sunshine" Draco said sarcastically and sat on the edge of the bed, with a hangover potion in hand with breakfast. "You're going to drink and eat these two items then we are going to have a long discussion about coming home at 3am" Harry could only nod and do what he was told.

2 months earlier

"Oh come on its not even midnight!" Ron exclaimed "Why are you leaving so early?"

"Sorry mate I got a promise to keep" Harry stated as he paid the check "I'll see you later yeah?"

"Yeah alright 'monie probably wants me home as well" Ron sighed and asked for his own check

Draco was sat in the living room with tea and was reading a muggle book when Harry came in.

"Honey I'm home" Harry grinned and Draco looked up to roll his eyes at his lover but accepted the kiss Harry planted on his lips.

"How was drinks with the weasel?" Draco asked as Harry pulled him into his arms

"Same old same old" Harry murmured into Draco's neck "I missed you"

"You're drunker than I thought" Draco snorted

"Sod off" Harry huffed and Draco laughed happily.

"I missed you too" Draco murmured before kissing him softly "Now shower you reek of nachos and beer"

"Only if you join me" Harry smirked and wiggled his eyebrows


End file.
